Sam Hardman
How is it that we so readily fall prey to lust? Presumably we don’t wake up in the morning plotting how we might engage in lustful thoughts and lust-producing actions. Lust catches us unawares and just happens, so it seems. At least that’s how we may excuse ourselves. But is that really how it typically works?
I’d suggest that the answer to that question is “no.” On the contrary, lust is often just the outcome of bad choices in what we might call the “gray zone.” We call things “gray” when we don’t have certainty in our own minds about what is ultimately true. That of course does not mean they are uncertain in the mind of God. But as fallen, finite creatures, we simply don’t have absolute certainty about every moral question. Sexual sin is always black and white in the sense that I am either sinning sexually or I am not. This is true of every other sin as well (e.g., I’m either abusing alcohol or I am not, or I am honoring my parents or I am not, etc.). In fact, in an ultimate sense – that is, in the mind of God – all moral questions are black and white and there is no gray. But in our fallen state we sometimes struggle to know precisely what the standard of true holiness is or how to apply the standard to particular situations.
Here’s an example in the area of sexual sin: Is it wrong for a man to admire the physical beauty of a woman who is not his wife, or for a woman similarly to admire a man who is not her husband? If it is not wrong in principle (beautiful and admirable creations of God are, presumably, legitimately appreciated as beautiful), at what point in the heart and mind of a sinner does such admiration turn into lust (i.e., an illicit/perverse desire for something good to which one has no right)? Where exactly is the line? God certainly knows. But to us it is not always so clear.
Here’s another example: Suppose we are researching something online that’s perfectly legitimate, and while we’re researching we come across another topic that catches our interest. It too is perfectly innocent in itself, but we know there are greater risks of encountering content that isn’t good. Still, we allow ourselves a few minutes to pursue the tangent. One link leads to another, and the risk moves higher or lower, sort of like a game of Russian roulette. Is this wicked? If it is, at what point does it become so? From the beginning or somewhere along the way?
This is no mere academic point. On the contrary, the “gray zone” is precisely where much of the spiritual battle rages for genuine Christians, married and unmarried alike. The clearly black and white aspects of this area of sin (e.g., no sex outside of marriage, don’t view pornography, etc.) are actually the easy part – not easy in the sense that it’s easy to live holy lives that meet these standards, but at least it’s easy to know what’s right and what’s wrong. The hard part is actually the gray area. But it is so crucial to deal with this area because we don’t typically move from holiness to obvious sin without intermediate steps. Rather, we move incrementally through the gray zone, carelessly making small choices that put us on a good trajectory or a bad one. And if we start moving on a dangerous trajectory and fail to be honest with ourselves about what’s happening, that’s when we end up in trouble. Suddenly we find ourselves in a place we had no intention of going – or at least we would like to think that we had no such intention. But it wasn’t really “sudden” at all. A careful and objective observer who knew our thoughts and intentions – as we ourselves should – could have seen it coming.
This is a call to protect the gray zone. Avoid it altogether when you can, which is much of the time. Don’t let it expand through spiritual laziness. Rather, seek to minimize it by consciously exposing your thoughts and intentions to the scrutiny of the Spirit of God within you, working through the truth of Scripture that you are constantly hiding in your mind and heart. Even for fallen, finite human beings, the gray zone is much smaller than we often want to believe it is. When you really are in it, be constantly asking what’s happening that is inclining your heart toward holiness or toward sin, remembering this: “…your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God[.] You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.” (1 Cor. 6:19b-20)